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“When you hold a man down, neither you nor the man who is pinned down is free”
– An African Proverb
Excerpts from my most recent published book; 'Wonderful World, Beautiful People'

Conflict is inevitable in any human society even in the animal kingdom there is conflict. If you live with other persons, be it in a family, workplace, or society in general, you must have social conflicts. The only way not to have conflicts is to live alone, that is, you separate yourself from other persons, which is impossible for the man who chose to live alone dies quickly in solitude.

Our world is fast advancing into chaos of hatred, greed, ignorance, selfishness and inhumanity. It was not created to be such a confused and crazy place like it is today. Like an African proverb said: “When you hold a man down, neither you nor the man who is pinned down is free.” The same fear that made you hold him down, inflicting all sorts of pain on him both emotional and physical will plague you so much that you will not want to let go. And for fear of his life, the man who is held down might chose to fight and live or die along with you even at his last breath.

This is the simplest trace of the terrorist philosophy; ‘If you can’t beat them, fight and die with them.’ This is one of the easiest trace of all civil strife that has produced so many militias and guerilla gun mongers across Africa; ‘If we can’t fight the system of the ruling elites that has neglected us, let’s make a trash of their economic policy,’ ‘let’s make this place ungovernable.’ ‘He that is down need fear no fall.’

This is the origin of all civil conflict, boardroom politics and unrest all over the world today. The people you look down on tends to look down on you too. the people you disregard will not fail to give you back a very shabby treatment at the slightest opportunity, the people you rate, rates you high too, the people you take consideration of in your mutual and economic policies do also take consideration of you as you both render services to each other and the society. the people you treat with contempt and disrespect will not hesitate to fight back at the slightest opportunity but the worse thing is, the effects of such aggression is always misplaced and innocent members of the public are always victims to such an extent that we soon begin to make a ‘dog eat dog’ of our society and business.

When two people fight, they suddenly become interdependent where everything affects everything else; one blow in the mouth triggers another blow in the stomach, one shot triggers another shot, one negative reaction triggers further negative consequences and it is certain that each of us is always reacting to what other people do. Despite our inter-dependency, each human being is different from others, both in body and personality, and have different beliefs and values, Each person has a different view of what he or she consider right or wrong and because of this they’re bound to clash when they live together.

Because people cannot continue to live like these warring dogs, hurting each other without remorse or sense of belonging, there must be a positive approach to an effective pattern of conflict resolution. Conflict resolution entails acknowledging other person’s views on divergent issues pertaining to life and social co-existence. Where there is conflict between you and others that resulted as a misunderstanding of issues, it behooves us to pause, analyze the nature of the conflict, and accept responsibility where we have erred by trying to impose our values and ways of life on others whose culture and social values is different from ours.

Many at times, the kind of conflict that always sets a great divide between people are based on social issues and cultural misunderstanding. Settling such conflicts requires a great deal of compromise and negotiation, bargaining and giving up some of your coveted positions, which is often difficult. But the good thing is, those who have taken an extra step to apply this method always succeed in creating a harmonious environment conducive for mutual coexistence of peoples and commercial enterprise while those who have not been able to live up to this responsibility are locked up fighting an endless battle of supremacy and airy relevance.

It is always evidence that those who you try to impress will always devise as many subtle ways as possible to fight back unless you create a room for compromise and acceptance whereby every individual that make up the society, both old and young, poor and rich, alien and citizens is given a fair platform to express themselves responsibly. This is the only way to have peace in the society. If one insists that only one’s position should prevail, one alienates others, makes them feel unimportant and belittled. When people feel belittled, if they have the ability to fight back, they will fight by every means necessary and like I have said earlier, this is the cause of all the civil and political conflicts plaguing most societies across the world today.

If you ignore the common people, says those you consider ‘second rate or third class’, they could feel the neglect and get frustrated, and might attack you just to pacify their anger and curiosity about life. As it’s always been said – “By the crook or by the hook, if you can’t beat them, join them”.
Until a man is fed and clothed, at least evenly, he knows no shame, nor honour but will do everything to fight an impending defeat and certainly would nobody wants to be defeated in life. God Bless
saintjerry75@gmail.com